Tonight was Lachlan's first football practice. As always, at some point in the night he let his emotions rule him and began to cry. He could not pull himself out of it after that and ended up being embarrassed. It is so hard for me to watch him beat himself up. He is a sweet kid with a heart of gold, but I know that tender heart that he wears on his sleeve is going to be his enemy a lot in life.
I want him to always have that big heart, and I love that he does have emotions that are not wrapped up in being macho, but I worry so much that he is going to be picked on and made fun of---which in turn makes me want to try to help him toughen up. Tonight, I wanted him to get mad--or to get up and brush it off when he was basically tackled by three of his teammates. Instead he got embarrassed and cried and then he felt even worse.
I want so badly to fix it for him, but I myself am an emotional person. I was called a cry baby all my life. Everyone knew from the blush on my face and the tears in my eyes when I was mad or embarrassed. So, knowing that there is not a whole lot he can do about it---he obviously inherited my emotional personality---how do I help him. It tears my heart out that he is so hard on himself--but then I find myself wanting to be hard on him to keep him from getting hurt.
Wow! Being a mom is SOOOOO hard sometimes!